Robot Has No Heart

Xavier Shay blogs here

A robot that does not have a heart

The Road Home

The mirror to my previous misadventure, The Road To Berlin

Saturday, 5:30pm: And they’re racing!
6:30pm: Arrive at airport
6:40pm: Shoes get wet by an erratic shower
6:55pm: “I’m sorry sir, check-in for Frankfurt just closed. Please come back tomorrow”
8:41pm: Arrive at “dress to impress” party in t-shirt, fisherman’s and sandals
Sunday, 3:00am: Catch up on work emails
5:30am: Fall asleep on floor
9:00am: Morning, sunshine. More work.
Noon: Prost! Not eating chicken for lunch.
3:15pm: Admonished by the polezei for dancing
4:16pm: Pass out on the side of the road outside Oktoberfest
4:50pm: Scab 80c off French guy and spend last Euros on a train ticket
5:42pm: Arrive at airport, with a little help from my friends
6:20pm: Push to front of check-in line, wailing “I’m going to miss my flight!” (lie)
10:00pm: “I’m sorry sir, we don’t have a vegetarian meal for you. Have a bonus roll-with-cheese.”
3:00pm: Skip breakfast by nodding off during serving
5:35pm: After taxiing to the terminal, faint
5:38pm: After exitting the aircraft, faint
5:46pm: Eating chocolate while lying on the floor of business class
8:05pm: “I’m sorry sir, we don’t have your ticket for this flight”
8:15pm: Aquire ticket (5 minutes prior to checkin closure)
8:22pm: “Excuse me sir, Absolut Vodka for you?” (pass)
Tuesday, 1am: No vege meal booked, but the vege+fish one only has fish in the salad
1:16am: French lady in 59B gives me her icecream
5:36am: Touchdown in Melbourne, 1 hour ahead of schedule due to a roaring tail wind. Fantastic.
5:46am: Exit plane. Don’t faint. Fantastic.
5:55am: Exit Melbourne airport, having passed through duty-free collection, passport control, baggage collection and quarantine in under 10 minutes. Fantastic.
5:58am: Walk straight on to a sunbus that departs instantly. Fantastic.
6:55am: Asleep in own bed. FANTASTIC.
9:00am: At work, on time. Only a day late.

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